Thieving❤

            Thieving moments

       Life has it's own of playing out. Uncertainty is so much less than just a synonym. There are so many frailties to our existence. Especially sounding selfless here, our existence doesn't just limit itself to us. It also does depend a lot on people we love dearly. And in these times, their loss shatters us. It leaves questions unanswered, faith shaken and the will to live completely broken. Well, I'm not here to talk about the loss. I'm rather going to speak on life after the loss of a loved one. 

      One loses clue of how time passes. Seconds and minutes get exchanged to being years. And sometimes, a day passes along, with one being unaware of feeling any of it at all. As tricky as time is, it brings pain unknown in aplenty. The realisation of living without the loved one hits slower with every passing hour. And one never wants to reach the peak of this, but sadly in a particular albeit unpredictable moment, the sad fact stings the soul.  The mind starts feeling numb, the heart succumbs itself and the physical symptoms are undeniably daunting. Some shiver while some sleep excessively. Reaction to pain is 7 billion ways different. 

      No one wants to feel the loss of their loved one. Also, people expect getting over the emptiness by advising distraction from the loss, in any and every way known. Arguably, that doesn't help. To feel their presence becomes inevitable to actually be distracted from the pain. We choose to deny that they've departed from us. We watch their favourite shows wearing their clothes, we eat their favoured delicacies, we even visit their preferred places, hoping that they'll hold our hand while we tread there. We do everything in our power to make sure they'll come back and do the same thing, patting us, "you're messing it up, you always did. You need me". 

     This would come to be called Thieving moments. Snatching those precious moments with them from the reality of what happened. Having those flashbacks haunt us as beautiful dreams all through the night, perhaps not even getting sleep and walking in them open eyed. The real shock is when we wake up knowing that our loved one is not there and we were just allowed a negligible fraction of happiness in our life. The disbelief of receiving such a traumatised fate doubles up seeing the memories right in front of us, but our person not being there to wrap us with the love and care we seek. Our soul screams that they were there, right there, now where did they go... and the screams make way through the eyes as tears and outbursts or even silence. A stoic and distraught outlook agonizes even those in our periphery.  

    There is a limit to feeling pain. The loss of a loved one overpasses the tenacity of it all. It's as indescribable as it is. Words are tenuous in front of such a loss. 

N.